Obituary of Tate Spencer
Tate Spencer
March 16, 2024 - April 5, 2024
Tate is the beloved son of Kaili and Kristy Spencer, brother to Kaydence, Ashton, Rae and Wells, his loving Grandparents are Bill and Jennifer Pollard and Don Spencer. Tate is now with his Grandma Peggy in heaven.
Tate’s birthday is March 16, but his life began a bit before that, about 9 months before when he started growing inside of Kristys tummy.
Psalm 139:13-14
“For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works
are wonderful, I know that full well.”
When Kristy found out she was pregnant, she was about 5 weeks along, her and Kaili decided not to tell the kids until they were a little farther into the pregnancy. When they finally did tell the kids, there was a mixture of surprise and excitement, then a discussion on who was hoping for a little brother and who was hoping for a little sister. During the pregnancy Kristy visited the Fort St John prenatal clinic for checkups. Kaili, Rae and Wells came to one of her appointments where the dr asked if they wanted to know the gender of the baby because the doctor could clearly see it on the bedside ultrasound … you know what she was seeing?! You know what “it” was right?! They weren’t expecting to find out the gender at that appointment, they thought that they would have to wait until the full anatomy ultrasound report so when the dr told them they were having a boy, happy tears filled both Kristy and Raes eyes and it was such a special moment for them. They went to the baby store after to pick out a blue onesie then went to pick up Ashton from school so that they could surprise him with the news too. Kristy had two girls names picked out… but no boys names, so she told the kids and Kaili to start coming up with some ideas. The pregnancy was spent making plans for their new life with baby boy and thinking about what it would be like with 4 kids in the house. Kristy, Rae and Grandma had fun buying outfits and all sorts of baby things to prepare for the little guys arrival. Jokes were made about having another farmhand around to help with cows and chores and they were so excited to show him the new country life that they had created out in Rose Prairie. Kaili watched Kristy’s tummy get bigger and bigger and put his hands on her stomache in the evenings, he was always surprised by a big kick and always repeated how amazing it was that she was growing another tiny human inside of her. Kaili may have brought home a full size ice cream cake (or two) for Kristy during the pregnancy :) Rae took good care of Kristy by rubbing lotion on her tummy, Ashton made her teas, Wells gave her tummy cuddles and kisses, and they all talked to the previous baby growing inside her.
Towards the end of her pregnancy, Kristy developed a medical condition called cholestasis and because of the potential risks to baby she was sent to Prince George and induced around 37 weeks pregnant. Kristy and Kaili had found a local doula, Kassie, and they had had one short meeting with her in town and then one good long meeting with her when she went out to their farm but because plans and dates changed when Kristy was sent to Prince George, she wouldn’t have Kassie with her for the birth. Kristy and Kaili were, however, put at ease and relieved when they met the great doctors and nurses in Prince George- they were well taken care of and the nurse that was with Kristy for her delivery was especially sweet. Kristy and Kaili had made a playlist of peaceful and encouraging faith based songs to listen to during labour and delivery which is something they had never done before with their previous births. They spent a couple days together for the induction process and waiting for the contractions to pick up. They visited, laughed and had some really special quality time together. They had never been away from the kids for that length of time, but Grandma and Grandpa were taking good care of them back at their home in Charlie Lake.
After Kristy’s water was broke, their little guy made an appearance pretty fast, so fast the nurses and doctors couldn’t believe it! Baby boy decided it was time to make his entrance into the world on the day of Grandma and Grandpa Pollards wedding anniversary.
The nicu team was also there ready to help baby boy in case he needed some support, which he did since he was a bit early and was born so quickly. Kaili went with Baby Boy Spencer to the nicu while the doctors and nurses took care of Kristy but within a couple hours Kristy was holding him and nursing him. He was perfect, and so strong for a little guy born a bit early. 7 pounds 13 ounces, Kristy knew he was strong because she could feel him kicking so hard when she was pregnant with him and she didn’t remember that powerful of kicks from her other pregnancies. He must have been the biggest 37 week baby the Prince George nicu has ever seen thanks to those hearty Spencer genetics! Kristy shared with the nicu team that Kaili and his sisters were big babies, all of them over 10 pounds! Photos were sent to friends and family to announce that he was here, many said he looked a lot like his big sister Rae. Kristy and Kaili admired his long little fingers and tiny hands, they looked like Ashton’s did when he was a baby. They admired his perfect little head and nose and ears.
They had the name Tate pretty much narrowed down before he was born, and somehow all the kids miraculously agreed on something and thought it was a good name too. Tate suited him so well and they made it official, Tate Spencer. Whenever they told someone his name people would say “good name” or “sounds like someone famous”. Recently a friend sent Kristy the meaning of the name “Tate” and it means “a cheerful man, one who brings happiness to others” it is derived from an English family name with old Norse roots, from the old Norse word “teitr” meaning bright, glad, cheerful. Kristy and Kaili had no idea what his name meant until a few days ago when that was sent to them, and it made such perfect sense, because Tate brought immeasurable happiness into his family’s life.
Tate had to do a bit of light therapy in Prince George to help lower jaundice levels, he didn’t like laying in the bassinet so Kaili and Kristy held him in a comfy armchair and put the light pad on their chest then him on top so that he could be cuddled the whole time. Why would you want to lay in a hard plastic bassinet when you could be cuddled by mom and dad? They took turns through the night, watched some terrible reality tv shows on Netflix and got his levels down. Tate passed his car seat test on the first try and the nicu doctor did his final exam on Tate. He said that Tate looked really good and healthy but just wanted Kristy and Kaili to get his jaundice levels tested again when they arrived in Fort St John to make sure the numbers were continuing to trend downwards. Friends of theirs, Layla and Jay were also in Prince George having their baby so they were able to briefly see little Tate in his car seat before Kristy and Kaili made their way home with him.
Kristy and Kaili missed their kids at home and couldn’t wait to get back to them and to introduce them to their new baby brother. There was so much excitement, the kids had been asking for so many months “how many sleeps until the baby comes?” and he was finally here. Ashton held him first, then Rae and Wells, it was so cute how Wells said “awwww.” Tate quickly had the nickname “tater tot” because he was such a sweet little tater tot.
Kristy took Tate in to Fort St John hospital for three days in a row upon arrival home to have his blood tests done for jaundice and to ensure that levels were ok and she also took him in for an early checkup at her doctors clinic in Fort St John when he was 10 days old. The doctor that examined him said that he had already reached his birthweight which was awesome and that he looked like he was doing really well, she had no concerns about little Tate and was happy to hear that nursing was going so good for the two of them.
Grandma and Grandpa Pollard got to see Tate a few times, they both got to give him a good cuddle and tell him how much they loved him. They also planned a fishing trip together with Kaili, Kristy and Uncle Luke for the summer and had the cabins booked, excited to make memories with their expanding family. Not many other people got to meet him, everyone loved Tate from a distance since he was so fresh and friends didn’t want to visit if they had sick kids or if there was any type of sickness recently in their home. They were all so careful, and Kristy and Kaili said no to a few people bringing food out because they just wanted to keep Tate to themselves and safe while he was so new.
Wells would come up to Kristy and Tate and ask “can I pet him?” Then he would gently rub the top of his head or his back. Kristy’s friend Katie got to meet and hold Tate and would be known as Auntie Katie to the sweet little guy. Kaili and Kristy’s friends Jackie and Tyler got to meet and hold Tate, their friends Janine and Travis were also able to see him briefly and their neighbour friend Michelle got a peek at him when she was dropping off some farm goodies. Kailis sister Genny also got to see Tate in his car seat at one of their visits to the hospital when they were getting some of Tate’s bloodwork done.
Rae was living a dream come true when she got to take care of her baby brother, she loved dressing Tate in some of the cute sleepers, outfits and onesies that they had collected over the past months. Tate got to wear a little sleeper that Ashton Rae and Wells all wore when they were babies. They set up the bassinet and Grandma and Grandpa Pollard had bought Tate a swing to sleep in as well. Thoughtful and caring friends had given Kristy their old baby carriers and other baby items that they were no longer using.
Kristy was planning a girls brunch for a few of her friends to meet little Tate in the following couple weeks. She was so excited to show him off to those friends and was really looking forward to that brunch to celebrate his arrival and let everyone get a good snuggle in. There really was a lineup of people patiently waiting to meet Tate, and not many people got the chance to.
Out at Kristy and Kailis farm, Kristy and Tate got the king size bed in Kristy’s and Kailis room all to themselves for all his sleeps at home. Kristy got new pillows and bedding before his arrival to make sure it was extra extra cozy. They snuggled and watched a bit more bad reality tv together during those late night feedings. Kaili let Kristy hog all the snuggles because he knew how ridiculously happy she was holding him. The kids would all come into the bed to check on him before bedtime and first thing in the morning, just a quick hello or they would ask to hold him and get a little cuddle in. Kaili did sleep with them on Tates last night at home but they didn’t know that would be their last night in their home with him, they had no idea.
When Kristy, Kaili and Tate were in Prince George for Tate’s birth, Layla & Jay gave Tate a little blue elephant which Rae made sure was packed when Tate was sent to Vancouver, it was so sweet of Rae to remember that for him. Tate has the best older siblings a baby could ever ask for. Kristy could write about Tate forever, and she will continue to do so in her journal because she doesn’t want to forget a second of the time that she had with him. The way he felt cuddled in her neck, his smell, the way he would lift his head up and stretch. And just like her and Kaili feel like they didn’t have enough time, there is also not enough time here today for her to explain all of the ways that he has impacted their lives. He brought so much beauty and love to this world in so many different ways and his memory will continue to do so until the day they see him again.
Kristy, Kaili and Grandpa Bill never left Tate’s side, from Fort St John hospital to the air ambulance to Vancouver Children’s hospital - one of them was always with him and they slept by his side every night. Deborah Gordon was able to come see Tate in the paediatric intensive care unit and prayed with Kristy, Kaili and Bill. They are so thankful that she was there with them to lead them in that prayer. For a week in Vancouver they never gave up hope, and they refused to let go of it. Kristy and Kaili will honour Tate’s memory by continuing to try to be the best parents they can be to their kids here on earth while Jesus takes care of Tate up in heaven. As Tate’s Brother Wells says, they all love Tate “so so so much”.
Kristy and Kaili have started a fundraiser in Tate’s memory at BCs children’s hospital. The goal is a big one, and more of a lifelong goal for friends family to maybe contribute to each year on Tate’s birthday because they need to achieve $100,000 for a tribute plaque in the pediatric intensive care unit wing of the hospital. If you would like to contribute, you may do so through the link provided. There were so many amazing people taking care of Tate in Vancouver, Tate’s family is so grateful for everyone who was part of team Tate.
To help the family reach their goal, please consider making a donation in memory of Tate to the BC Children's Hospital - Click here to donate.
