Obituary of Barbara Godberson

Obituary "Wisdom, Grace, Beauty": these were words spoken by friend and fellow "Cemetery Seeker" and now "Honorary Pallbearer", Judy Hawthorne, to describe how she perceived our mother. She felt our mother's choice of the "Owl", which became an animal that our mother developed a fascination with, collecting numerous paintings of owls, various ceramic owls, and plates with owl paintings on them; as a very fitting representation of who our mother was to so many people, all the years of her life. I want to say that when I speak of "Our Mother", I am here today speaking on behalf of myself and my brother and sister. Our mother was born Barbara Mae Loucks in Minden, Ontario in December of 1932; a small community. In the present time period, by vehicle, it is about three to three and one-half hours north of Toronto. It is located in the Haliburton area of Ontario often referred to as "Cottage Country". She was raised on a farm that included having lakefront access to a very beautiful lake called Canning Lake. She had two brothers, Albert and Orie who were older than she was, and two more brothers Leon and Foster, and a sister, Phyllis who were all younger. We know little of her time growing up on the farm but I do know that she took an interest in collecting butterflies in grade 4 or 5 and that she enjoyed cross-country skiing in her high school years. She also told me that it was in high school that she got her first taste of, and interest in "genealogy", something that would become a big part of her in the latter years of her life. She attended all her years of schooling in Minden and graduated High School from Minden High School in 1949. In the school year of 1949 / 1950 our mother attended what is called Grade 13 in Haliburton, Ontario. This year of schooling was meant to prepare students for further education at a Post-Secondary level. She then began her studies to be a nurse in Oshawa, Ontario, and graduated in 1953 from the Nursing Program, there to become a "Registered Nurse". In all her years in nurses training she wanted and dreamed of working in northern Canada and in particular in Whitehorse. She came out west, first to New Westminster, and was there for 4 -5 months before coming for her first experience of Fort St. John in October of 1954. I want to read a small extract from an interview done with our mother regarding working in the "Old Hospital" and I should clarify, the "Old Hospital" is not what we now think of as the "Old Hospital". What we now call the "Old Hospital", was for our mother the "New Hospital", so this interview took place when what we now call the "Old Hospital" was still in existence and the interview was regarding working in the hospital which preceded the hospital that we now think of as the "Old Hospital". (Please feel free to remember that our mother always had a good sense of humor.) [Extract from the interview:] "One of the things I remember is the day I arrived. It had snowed, it was the first week of October and it had snowed. My friend and I came in on the aircraft. I can't remember who met us but I think maybe the Father, the priest at the time, brought us to the hospital and dropped us off at the front door. We went upstairs to the second floor and on the second floor was this small room that was a sterilizing and supply room. There was a little table with stools. We were put in that little room and we're sitting there and Sister Philomena brought us tea in that little room. There was a little window in that room and we looked out that window and across the way are two suitcases sitting in front of a little square box building and we realized that was the nurses' residence. It was small and we looked at this and realized that was likely where we were going to be living. When we got to the nurses' residence, by that time we had been through the hospital and probably had a meal. We sat in that little residence and looked at each other and over the last two hours we hadn't said a word to each other, because we did not know what we had gotten ourselves into. We were pretty down at that point. Fortunately for our mother, the next paragraph of the interview reads: But after two or three weeks we had met people and gotten to know the community and we realized we were probably going to survive. - (It is amusing to remember that our mother's dream of the early 1950's was to work in Whitehorse. This was a time period when Fort St. John was still known for mud. I wonder how rugged Whitehorse would have been at that time.) Our mother stayed in Fort St. John on this occasion for about a year, leaving in November of 1955. She went back to Ontario for about a year and then came back west to Calgary, and from Calgary to Fort Vermillion until she returned home again to prepare for her wedding, in May of 1958, to our father Donald Godberson and together they came back to Fort St. John where our mother continued to live all the rest of the years of her life. She gave birth to her first child in August 1960, her second child (my personal favorite) in 1962, and her third child in 1964. These were the early years, I now want to speak of our mother's life in a more thematic way: Starting with Nursing: Our mother worked as a nurse here in Fort St. John from October 1954-November 1955 and from 1958-1993. I do not know if this will or won't be what she is most remembered for in the years to come but it can be said that she made a big impression on many people over the years as a nurse. She made an impression on the numerous doctors and her nurse colleagues who thought highly of her and many patients, especially expectant mothers have spoken to us of our mothers kindness in dealing with them when they were in to give birth to their children. A quote from one of our mother's co-workers reads "In the old days, you were thrown in to 'Emergency' after one day. If she hadn't been there, I never would have made it through. She was my mentor." - Joanne Screeba Two of my sisters favorite memories read: My favorite memories are of when the kids were small. I was very grateful that my mom lived only a few blocks away and was a nurse; the first time was when Michael was only a few weeks old. I, a new inexperienced mother, couldn't get him to quit crying; Grandma G to the rescue - the nurse in her came out; she pounded his back for a few minutes and then with a technique I could never master, she swaddled that baby so tight we could have tossed him around the living room as a football; that was the first time Michael slept for 12 hours; and 12 hours later he was still just as tightly swaddled. Mom also had to teach me the technique for getting medicine into uncooperative kids; you sit them on the kitchen counter and with a one armed headlock you prop open their mouth and toss in medicine. I believe these memories of my sister, probably resonate with similar requests to our mother for help which came from other relatives and friends over the years. Our mother, Claire Harwood, and nurse Sandra Currie were dubbed the "Golden Girls" by Dr. Moody. Our mother, on a number of occasions, found herself in situations where babies had to be delivered before the doctor on call could make it to the hospital and therefore she was in a position where she had to take charge of the delivery. I have a memory of her coming home one New Year's Day and saying with great self-satisfaction that "I delivered the New Year's Baby". Church colleague and friend Laurel Hadland tells me that our mother was who delivered one of her children and that she therefore dubbed our mother "Dr. Godberson". In 2007, the South Peace Historical Society, was the driving organization that headed up a project to interview numerous elders of the North Peace. These interviews were all documented on digital format and a documentary DVD was made called "Treasured Chronicles II Through The Eyes Of Our North Peace Elders"; a DVD movie that included snippets of the many people who were interviewed. (I believe some of those interviewed are present here today.) Now, our mother had worked with people such as Dr. Kearney, Dr. Cormack, Sister Philomena Mary, and Ma Murray. She also had some knowledge through a relative of our father, of the Bedaux Expedition. She invited me to attend a North Peace Historical Society Annual Meeting and Dinner with her where this DVD movie was to be shown and she believed she would be in this movie probably talking about one of these other characters, or the fact that her husband to be had written to her of crossing the Peace River bridge the night it collapsed in 1957. I'd like to read out what was included instead. To set the stage, the interviewer was wondering if in her years as a nurse there was some really serious accident that stuck out in our mother's mind. Our mother down-played any one accident that made a really big impression but asked if she could elaborate on one incident that did. She was given an affirmative response. I'd like to read out what she said, A lady came in from Taylor, having her tenth or eleventh baby, which of course should happen very quickly, - she was in labor, but she was not progressing, and the - - Dr. Kearney was her doctor, and he had come in, and examined her, and knew the baby was not in the correct position, and that was likely the cause of this non-progress. He couldn't hear a baby heartbeat, and therefore thought the baby had already died inutero (sic). After he left, because I had a certain amount of experience in listening for baby heartbeats, I listened in all the places where it shouldn't be, and found it, and told the Sister, "Look, you know, the baby heartbeat is here". And she then took over, and called in the other doctors - - called Dr. Kearney back, and called the other doctors. They did a cesarean section, and they got a living baby." The Interviewer responds: "Wow!" Our mother then said: And I was, I suppose, pleased with myself over that particular thing. Our mother, after the presentation of this DVD movie said to me that she didn't think that was what they would have included in the DVD when there were other things she had said that seemed to her to be more important. I said to her, "Mom, the interviewer and the producer / editor of the film picked up on the fact that you saved a life!". There is an even more dramatic story of our mother saving the life of both a mother and her child, but it was the request of our mother that it not be told as a part of a eulogy. (But you may feel free to ask us after the Memorial Service and we'll be more than willing to tell you the story.) The second theme of our mother's life I want to recognize is her "travels": Travel over the years included numerous trips to the United States, a trip to Spain and the Isle of Majorca, a trip to England and then Germany, (she was able to see a production of the Oberammergau Passion Play). Then in her post-retirement years, primarily accompanied by her close friend and now "Honorary Pallbearer" Dilys Loucks, she travelled over the years to Greece, Turkey, Egypt, Scotland and Wales, Mexico, and many of these trips to Europe and the Middle East also included a few days to spend in England doing among other things, looking at old cemeteries. And that is a lead in to the next topic or theme; "The Cemetery Seekers": The founding members of the Cemetery Seeker's Committee were Barbara Godberson, Judy Hawthorne, Darlene Heal, and Tamara Secrist. My mother and these women grew to be very close friends and Judy, Darlene, and Tamara are present with us today serving as "Honorary Pallbearers". There was also a fifth person involved, Charlotte Trueman who unfortunately died due to a terminal illness in 2009 before the work of the "Cemetery Seekers" was completed. For those who don't know, these women, who all had a love of (some might say an "obsession" with "Genealogy") undertook what was originally to be the task of compiling the information and then creating a digital database documenting the burial locations of all the people buried in all the cemeteries around the North Peace region. Originally, they thought the work would involve documenting about 18 or so cemeteries. The work included travelling to each cemetery (the furthest away being in the Pink Mountain area) and accurately documenting the location of each headstone and the wording on each headstone. It also involved reviewing cemetery records for information that might not be present on headstones as well as reading local history books and researching the B.C. Archives for burial and cemetery information. The work involved interviewing people who could give them clues and information about obscure and nearly forgotten about burial sites. It involved countless hours traveling to and from the cemeteries, many of them having to be visited numerous times as the work at each cemetery could not be accomplished in a single day. By the time the work was done it included over 4340 entries and that was in 2010. Our mother also took the lead of a related work of compiling obituaries; a work that was picked up on by the "Cemetery Seekers" and to date they have over 5000 obituaries on file. These women also, as an extension of their work regarding the cemeteries of the North Peace and because of their close affiliation with the Fort St. John - North Peace Museum undertook a trip to Victoria to make a digital record of the Francis Work Beatton records. They wanted to "bring our history home". Funded by a grant from the North Peace Credit Union to pay for the expenses of the trip, they spent most of a week in Victoria photographing the many pages of the Francis Work Beatton Journals. If this wasn't already enough, our mother developed a concern that the location of the "Hudson Bay Company Cemetery", a cemetery where bodies were buried in the pioneering days of Fort St. John, near what we now call the "Old Fort" area, be recognized and remembered officially. It should be noted that the human remains are still present today with no markers to identify who they are; when they died, or just where exactly they are buried. The "Cemetery Seekers" following our mother's lead took up the cause and lobbied the appropriate governmental agencies and were successful in 2011 in having the location recognized as a "Historical Site" and a monument placed where all can now see it by driving down to the "Old Fort" area. When I asked our mother what she felt were some of the biggest accomplishments in her life or what was she most proud of, she stated that having this monument erected was among the highest in her mind. The "Cemetery Seekers" were recognized for their hard work and accomplishments in 2011 winning the City of Fort St. John Community Award and in 2012 The Peace River Regional District presented them the "Peace River Regional District Organization Award". And, finally, no tribute to our mother would be complete without a recognition of her involvement and work in her church at numerous levels . She was raised in the United Church of Canada, first attending church at Ingolsby United Church, a small church close to the farm on which she was raised. In all her years in Fort St. John she remained a loyal member, supporter and leader of St. Luke's United Church. She was faithfully involved in the local congregational chapter of the United Church Women and over the years served as the President or Chair on numerous occasions. She taught Sunday School and headed up the Sunday School Program for many years. She took it upon herself for a number of summers to organize a Vacation Bible School Program. She served on the "Worship Committee" and the Board of St. Luke's . She served as the congregation's Presbytery Representative for more years that I care to count and took her turn serving then as one of the Presbytery Representatives to the Conference level and served on some of the committees of Conference. (For those who aren't familiar with the United Church of Canada, "Presbytery" and "Conference" are two of the governmental body levels of the church. Again, when I asked our mother what she felt were some of the biggest accomplishments in her life or what was she most proud of, one of the highlights she took great pride in was the organizing of the 40th Anniversary celebration of St. Luke's United Church and St. Martin's Anglican Church constructing this building and using it as a shared worship space. This building that for all those years we called the "Shared Church". (I would like to acknowledge St. Martin's Anglican for allowing this Memorial Service to take place in their worship space; our mother would have seen it metaphorically as coming home.) And finally, a tribute to our mother's involvement in the church would not be complete without speaking of the Mother-Daughter Banquet that she began organizing in the 1990's and it became an annual event that grew to be probably the biggest annual Social Event in the life of St. Luke's. It was meant to be an event for the women of the church to gather with daughters and grand-daughters but it was made certain that no woman was not welcome regardless of whether or not a mother or daughter was present with them. It also grew to be an activity that brought the men of the congregation together as the men would be asked to be the servers and help with the dishes of the banquet. Although, this might sound like monotonous chores, the fellowship the men enjoyed during this event, I believe, played a big role in it drawing most of the men of the congregation out to help with the event each year. Before I finish, I want to acknowledge the "Godberson" extended family. We believe it can be said that it is a credit both to the quality of our mother's character and to the quality of character of our many Godberson relatives (our mother's in-laws); that even after our parent's separation and divorce, in the late 1980's and also continuing all these years after our father's death in 2000, that our mother continued to be a welcomed and cherished part of the Godberson family. The truth of this statement is further testified to by the many Godberson relatives who are present with us today, some having travelled a fair distance to be here. Our mother was especially welcomed and encouraged to attend all of the Godberson Family Reunions that took place every two years. If I'm not mistaken, it was only Santa Barbara, in 2012 that she missed over the years. It was in September of 2013 that our mother was first diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer. We count it a blessing that in the additional year and a half from the time our mother was first diagnosed with cancer; that we had the privilege of enjoying two additional Christmas celebrations with her present; her brother Orie along with his wife Eleanor was able to travel from Oxford, Ohio in the U.S.A.t o enjoy a visit with her in September of 2014; her brother Foster was able to travel from Ontario to spend some time with her in the final week before she died; (as mentioned already), she was able to be present for one last Godberson Family Reunion this past August, in Hines Creek; and this past June she was able to be present at the High School Graduation of her granddaughter Alex. She was a devoted mother and grandmother and is survived by her son, Glen and his wife Gloria; myself, her daughter Diana and Diana's husband Johnny and their two children, our mother's grandchildren, Michael and Alex Bacso; also her brothers Orie and Foster along with their spouses Eleanor and Diane. There are also numerous nieces and nephews, great-nieces and great-nephews; brothers-in-law, and sisters-in-law; and finally, out of respect for the genealogist our mother was: numerous first cousins, first cousins once removed, second cousins, second cousins once removed, third cousins, third cousins once removed, etc. So, what will our mother's legacy be? We believe our mother's greatest legacy will be "a thousand acts of kindness" that both challenge and inspire the recipients of those acts of kindness to go on doing the same for others, and thus the world is made a better place in which to live. Mom you will be dearly missed. Memorial Service MAR 2. 02:00 PM St. Martins Anglican Church 10364 - 100 Street Fort St. John, BC, CA Memorial Tea MAR 2. 03:00 PM Fort St. John Curling Rink 9504 96 St Fort St. John, BC, CA, V1J 1K9 Services